in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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