They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
