Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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