I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
