weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize