That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He better not be in your backpack
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
