I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God, I missed his penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
