ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize