Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
