Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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