yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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