i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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