yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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