I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
