I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
