did you get engaged???
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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