everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
