The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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