dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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