I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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