He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Couch. On fire.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
