good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
