The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
where are my eyebrows?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
