Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
