Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
