i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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