windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
