I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
