I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
