I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
