I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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