she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize