Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
