last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she told me i tasted like america
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize