Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
