You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
