he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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