i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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