You're my little dorito
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
