I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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