You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she peed on how many people?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
