so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
