Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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