Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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