BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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