Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
