There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
