it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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