just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
