i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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