school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
