My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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