btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
