TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
