I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
