well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
