Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
