You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
