I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
