No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
