went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
