The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
