this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
