it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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