i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
