You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
