are you so shy because you have an std?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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