oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
